Screenplay ~~- The Baby-Making War

Israel's 11 Sons Massacre Neck-Ridge's People

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3081 Characters =~3.1Min. Reading Time
{ BAM! } While the [foreign] men lay passed out, Simeon and Levi grab their swords.

Dinah screams at the top of her lungs.


FROM HALF A MILE WEST IN THE COUNTRY: Jacob, Rebekah, Bilhah and Zilpah come running toward Neck Ridge.


Simeon and Levi storm the town.

They murder 2 men.
Then another 2 men.
Then another 2 men...

The terrified wives and children of Shechem look on, screaming.

Animals run in terror from the massacre.

Dinah tries to stop Simeon, but he charges to murder Donkey-Man.

Simeon and Levi stab Prince Shechem with edge of their devouring swords.

My husband!

Rachel & Leah grab Dinah. They drag her away, kicking and screaming, from the massacre.

The rest of the 11 sons of Jacob see the murdered men of Shechem Ridge.

These Patriarchs of Israel go nuts.

They plunder the town (in wildly out-of-proportion, criminal revenge for Shechem bedding their sister).


-- Rachel fails to keep Reuben from stealing the dead mens' sheep; Reuben punches Rachel;

-- Leah fails to keep Gad from stealing the dead mens'
oxen; Gad thrusts Leah to the ground;

-- [Fragrant] Zilpah struggles in vain to keep Naphtali from stealing the town's donkeys; Naphtali trips Zilpah; she hits her head on a rock;

-- Bilhah fights in vain to keep Dan from stealing the town's gold; Dan's swinging sword slices Bilhah's hand;

-- Dinah fights in vain to keep Zebulun from stealing the town's silver; Zebulun head-butts Dinah; she collapses;

-- Jacob fights to stop Judah from stealing the town's jewelry; Judah wrestler-drops on Judah;

-- Little Joseph fights in vain to stop Dan from stealing the town's clothing; Dan kicks little Joseph in the gut; Joseph doubles over;

Reuben, Dan, Gad and Asher chain up all the dead men's little orphaned children. Bilhah, Zilpah, and Leah fight in vain to stop them.
Reuben, Dan & Gad tie up Bilhah, Zilpah, and Leah with the prisoners.

Naphtali, Zebulun, Judah, and Dan kidnap the dead men's wives. Rachel and Jacob and little Joseph fight in vain to stop them.

Jacob screams at Simeon and Levi:

(to Simeon)
Stop! You're whipping up disaster for me!

Simeon punches at Jacob.
Jacob decks Simeon.

(to Levi)
You'll make me stink in the noses of the giant inhabitants of the land, the Canaanites and the Perizzites!

Leah runs up behind Levi, strangles him from behind with her slave rope-handcuffs.

(kicks Reuben)
My tribe is tiny!

Rachel, still hand-tied pushes Dan to the ground.

The pagans'll team up against me and kill me!

Bilhah smacks Gad across the face. His treasures spill to the ground.

I... โ€”
(Jacob stutters)
โ€”I'll be destroyed, me and my whole family!

Simeon and Levi jump up to challenge their Dad:

(pushes Jacob's chest)
So, old man, you just want us to stand byโ€”

(towers over Jacob)
โ€”while some pig-eating foreigner treats our only baby sister like a whore who spreads her legs for pay?