BurpFace Synopsis
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Chapter Synopsis:
An autistic mine-slave recovers his mind, his body, and his true love from the evil warlord who stole them.
In this story,
BurpFace aka Killman (me dog)
fights Lord Pigganus (rabid dog)
for SnowFlower (bone).
BurpFace wins.
--------( C O N C E R N )
Autistic, handicapped BurpFace, a penniless mine-slave, works himself nearly to death slaving to dig gold out of a nasty mine to fund the wars of the mine's unspeakably evil owner: Lord Pigganus.
One day as BurpFace straggles away from the mine, he sees Lord Pigganus's lovely young niece (SnowFlower).
The next day, when BurpFace sees SnowFlower, he pulls a gold nugget out of his sleeve. He wraps it in a cloth. He throws it to SnowFlower. But she doesn't even see it.
The next day, BurpFace throws a bare nugget to SnowFlower.
Lord Pigganus sees the nugget hit SnowFlower in the head.
It knocks her out.
So Lord Pigganus beats BurpFace, then sends him to work in the most dangerous, dark, polluted part of the mine.
BurpFace gets repeatedly injured in accidents that kill his (equally handicapped) friends.
BurpFace dares question the orders of Lord Pigganus.
So Lord Pigganus throws BurpFace down a mineshaft.
In the night, Lord Pigganus's lovely young niece (SnowFlower) crawls down the mineshaft.
She rescues BurpFace.
During the rescue, BurpFace burps in her face.
Yet she merely giggles, then burps even louder in his face.
He marvels at her compassion.
He says that she ought to have let him die because he's a worthless nothing, as everyone has told him his whole life.
She kisses him, saying that she would never kiss anyone if they weren't precious and beautiful.
She leads him by the hand from the mine-shaft.
BOOM! Lord Pigganus snatches SnowFlower away.
His soldiers beat BurpFace before SnowFlower's eyes, to punish her for helping mine-slaves.
Soldiers cart BurpFace off to a war.
He runs from the war into a forest.
--------H O P E
BurpFace catches fish in the forest.
He drinks the crystal waters.
His autistic mannerisms disappear.
He stands up straight.
His arms get strong.
They no longer flap around out-of-control.
His speech normalizes.
His hair comes back, gorgeous.
His bloated features turn handsome.
In flashbacks, he remembers the mine-taskmaster/torturers dumping Lord Pigganus's 'stupid-juice' into the nasty pig-intestine soup they fed the miners.
Facing great dangers, BurpFace runs back to the mine to see SnowFlower.
--------F E A R
When BurpFace returns the mine, he sees SnowFlower is engaged to marry her uncle: the monstrously evil Lord Pigganus.
--------S C O R E
BurpFace, hiding his identity now as 'KillMan', steals SnowFlower from Lord Pigganus.
--------P A I N
BurpFace rails at SnowFlower for attempting to marry the evil Lord Pigganus.
nowFlower resists BurpFace's macho fighting antics.
Face-Eating monsters in a Demon-Hole nearly kill both BurpFace and SnowFlower.
--------P O W E R
BurpFace and SnowFlower emerge from the Demon-Hole, scarred but alive.
Through a fight, SnowFlower realizes that this amazing man who rescued her is actually BurpFace.
They go to kiss, to celebrate their miraculous reunion, and his miraculous healing!
--------D I S A S T E R!
BOOM! Lord Pigganus captures SnowFlower.
He tortures BurpFace.
He makes BurpFace retarded again.
BurpFace nearly dies.
There seems to be no hope.
--------T R I U M P H!
BurpFace's friends steal him away.
They help him recover.
BurpFace vanquishes Lord Pigganus.
BurpFace's friends get victory over their foes as well, but only through mortal struggle.
BurpFace and his dear friends ride off into the sunset with SnowFlower.
BurpFace and SnowFlower enjoy the kiss of a lifetime.
