Screenplay ~~- The Baby-Making War

Jacob Flees Under Supernatural Guard To Bethel

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The golden glow of YHVH's messenger angel tunnels down from the sky to envelop Jacob:

(to Jacob)
Pack up your caravan. Travel up to Beth-El.

Everyone stares at Jacob, who appears to be staring transfixed at a normal sky:

(to Jacob)
Dwell there. Build there an altar to prepare feasts to honor me, the EL who appeared to you when you fled from the face of Esau your brother.

So Jacob commands everybody in his family, and everyone else in his caravan:

Throw away the [strange] foreign idol-gods you have with you!

Jacob throws Rachel's idol-gods down a ravine.

Rachel screams bloody-murder.

Purify yourselves!

Jacob sprays water on himself:

You're crazy!!

โ€”Change your clothes.

Jacob rips off his bloody clothes.

Jacob throws Joseph up on the cart, starts packing his things:

(packing to leave)
Let's pack up and travel up to [the place I called] the house of Elohim. There I'll make an altar to [honor Yahweh] Elohim, who answered me in the day of my distress. He stayed with me on every path I took.

Jacob raises his hands to the sky.

Lightning bolts from heaven shoot in a circle all around the camp.

So everybody in Jacob's family caravan, including the kidnapped women and children hand Jacob all the strange idol-gods in their possessions, a fortune worth the price of several mansions.

And the piercings!

And they hand him all their pierced earrings from their ears.

Jacob buries [the idols and jewelry under a great oak near the town of Shechem.

Leah and Rachel and Jacob's sons and daughter cry and claw at Jacob, assuming him mad:

Those precious-metals are worth a fortune!

Think of the gold!

They're the deeds to our estates!

Let's go!


As Jacob's caravan journeys, Jacob sees a golden glow from heaven surrounding his caravan.

Insane mobs of Mad-Max-like warriors run to attack his caravan...

Then they stop, in inexplicable [supernatural] terror of the gold glow falling on Jacob's caravan.

This same event plays out as Jacob's caravan safely passes city...

...after warlike city...

The natives hide, shaking behind their walls, too terrified to chase down and kill and plunder Jacob's [family.

So Jacob and his whole tribe [miraculously] safely arrive at Luz (aka Beth-El,) [the "house of El"], in the land of Canaan.

There Jacob builds an altar (for cooking holy feasts).

He shouts to his assembled tribe:

โ€”Here Elohim appeared to me, when I fled from the [raging] face of my brother [the Red-man].

So I name this place: El-Beth-El, Elohim's mighty Temple!

Jacob's sons cheer for him.