Screenplay 
The Baby-Making WarJacob's Caravans Toward Isaac's Far Land
1093 Characters =~1.1Min. Reading Time
EXT. SYRIAN HIGHLAND PLATEAU - NIGHT
Jacob loads his carts with his treasure-chest(s).
Gold spills on the cart & ground.
Rachel darts to pick up the gold.
JACOB
(to Leah)
Rachel rides with me!
LEAH
No!
EXT. SYRIAN HIGHLAND PLATEAU - DAY
Jacob drives all his cattle & carts over the Syrian Highland plateau.
Leah screams, strapped across the back of Rachel's camel.
LEAH
You can't do this to me!
In the cart, nuzzling Jacob, Rachel giggles.
EXT. DESERT - NIGHT
Jacob turns his caravan off (southwest) toward the land of Canaan.
LEAH
(gagged)
I'm the mother of your children!
Jacob giggles.
EXT. DESERT - DAY
Jacob's caravan rises up the highland crest.
EXT. DESERT - NIGHT
Jacob drives his caravan over the Euphrates river.
Leah lies passed out on the camel, her tongue drooling.
EXT. DESERT - DAY
Jacob sets his face toward the flowing green hill-country of Gilead.
LEAH
(gagged whimper)
I'm telling Dad you stole his idols!
POV: Whitey's golden idol statues ride in the saddle-box under Rachel's fine butt.
