Screenplay ~~- The Baby-Making War

Leah Conceives And Births 4 Sons To Jacob

Giving Birth
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LATER:

EXT. LEAH'S TENT - NIGHT

Around twilight, Jacob walks past Leah's tent door.

Leah grabs him, drags him inside.

A light from heaven beams down into the tent as Leah moans in ecstasy.


INT. LEAH'S TENT - DAY (9 MONTHS LATER)

In the birthing tub, Leah squirts another baby boy into Jacob's waiting hands. Crying, Leah looks down to see the boy has a penis.

LEAH
Yahweh heard how my husband hated me, so Yah gave me this other son! So I name him โ€˜Simeonโ€™ (He hears).

LATER:


INT. RACHEL'S TENT - NIGHT

Rachel gets up from lying beside Jacob.

RACHEL
(to Jacob)
I gotta' pee.

As Jacob sees Rachel exit the tent, Leah jumps up from under the bed.


EXT. RACHEL'S TENT - NIGHT

Heavenly light descends from heaven to fill Rachel's tent, Silhouetting Leah bouncing on the bed atop Jacob.


INT. LEAH'S TENT - NIGHT (9 MONTHS LATER)

In the birthing tub, Leah bears a [3rd] son, this time into Rachel's waiting arms:

LEAH
(growls at Rachel)
Finally, now this time my husband will be joined to me, because I have borne him 3 sons!

Rachel stomps out in fury.

LEAH
(yells after Rachel)
I name my 3rd son, 'Levi,' (Joiner).

LATER:


INT. LEAH'S TENT - NIGHT

Leah straddles Jacob.

LEAH
(frustrated)
Come on, Jacob!

Jacob, drunk, blubbers an unintelligible groan.

LEAH
Not again!

In desperation, Leah holds a painting of Rachel's face up over her own!


EXT. LEAH'S TENT - NIGHT (CONTINUOUS)

Golden light from heaven descends to infiltrate Leah's tent, silhouetting her straddling Jacob in triumph.


INT. LEAH'S TENT - DAY (9 MONTHS LATER)

In the birthing tub, Leah bears a [4th] son (JUDAH) into the waiting arms of her slave-maid.

LEAH
(cries to maid)
Now I'll celebrate Yahweh, instead of living in the vain hope of impressing my absentee-husband!

The maid lays baby Judah on Leah's breast.

LEAH
So I call my 4th boy's name 'Judah' (celebrated-one).

The maid strokes Leah's hair, admiring baby Judah.

LEAH
(cries, shouts out door)
I'm done being your baby-making machine, you ungrateful two-timing cheat!