Screenplay The Baby-Making War
Leah prays and YAH opens her womb so she conceives
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Jacob impregnates Leah. She bears a son (Reuben).
1352 Characters =~1.4Min. Reading Time
Jacob hugs Rachel. He looks over her shoulder to see Leah crying.
Leah folds her hands, praying to heaven. Then she runs into her tent.
INT. LEAH'S TENT - NIGHT (LATER)
Jacob strokes Leah's crying cheek.
Leah jumps on Jacob like a bull mounting a cow.
Jacob's face recoils like WHOOOAH!
EXT. LEAH'S TENT - NIGHT (CONTINUOUS)
Golden stardust-light from heaven descends into Leah's bed inside the tent, silhouetting Jacob & Leah's coitus.
INSERT: Golden light flows into a big round womb. The light opens a hole in the armored egg for a valiant spermatozoa to invade.
EXT. LEAH'S TENT - DAY (6 MONTHS LATER)
Pregnant Leah stands rubbing her bulging belly, taunting teary-eyed skinny Rachel.
INT. LEAH'S TENT - DAY (3 MONTHS LATER)
In the birthing tub, Leah births a baby boy (REUBEN) into the hands of waiting Jacob:
Look! It's a boy!
Jacob swaddles baby Reuben.
Now I know Yahweh saw how humiliated I've been living single.
Jacob lays baby Reuben on Leah's breast.
(gloats at Rachel)
So YAH sent me a son, Reuben.
Teary-eyed Rachel glares at Leah stroking baby Reuben:
Now my husband will love me!
Jacob leans over Leah to stroke baby Reuben.
(storms from tent)
Dream on, fat sister. Children don't fix a marriage.