Screenplay The Baby-Making War
Jacob Buys Red-Man's Inheritance For Soup 1702 Characters =~1.7Min. Reading Time
INT. JACOB'S TENT - DAY (YEARS LATER)
Jacob, revenge-faced, cries into the stew he's cooking.
EXT. FIELD - DAY
Gaunt, dirty Esau stands among dead dry plants and sickly cows.
He grabs a flagon of alcohol from his pocket. Drinks it dry. Throws the flagon to the ground.
He buries his head in his hands.
He looks up, sniffs the air.
He staggers from the field toward the tent.
INT. JACOB'S TENT - DAY
Esau barges in. Grabs a whiskey flask from a table near the door. He falls over, exhausted. Drinks the whiskey.
PLEAAASE feed me some of your red [meat] soup.
Jacob shakes his head, "Nope!"
I'm dying of hunger!
If you want to eat today, sell me your rights as firstborn.
Look! I'm at the point of dying!
Right. All the cattle are dying of hunger.
(Sucks whiskey dry)
What profit will I get from my birth-rights if I die of hunger!?
Right. Your birthright is worthless.
Right. So swear your worthless birth-rights over to me right now, and I'll give you my valuable soup.
Fair and square!
Jacob straps on an apron, and serves the sweaty, dirty Red-Man bread and lentil-soup.
Esau Red-Man inhales the soup, bread, wine.
Esau burps... and then some!
Esau stands up, FARTS, sprints out the door.
EXT. JACOB'S TENT - DAY (CONTINUOUS)
Esau grabs his slut's hand, drags her into his tent.
Their sound of wham-bam-thank-you-maam boffing startles the sickly cows.
INT. JACOB'S TENT - DAY (CONTINUOUS)
The lovemaking racket startles Jacob.