Screenplay The Baby-Making War
Jacob Wakes Up Hung-Over, Sees Leah, screams 1398 Characters =~1.4Min. Reading Time
INT. HONEYMOON TENT - DAY
In the morning light, Jacob wakes up, smiles, rolls over...
Rachel, my love...
Jacob sees old cow Leah, DROOL running from the fat smile on her de-flowered face onto the lacy pillow.
Leah JOLTS awake.
Jacob runs outside naked.
He storms to Laban's tent, knocks down Thuggly the guard, throws open the door.
INT. LABAN'S TENT
Laban Lies drooling in the arms of two sluts.
(screams at Laban)
What have you done to me? Didn't I serve you 7 years to buy Rachel? Why did you trick me?
Oh, didn't I tell you? In our country it's forbidden to give the younger daughter in marriage before the firstborn.
Jacob's face puffs up in red rage.
Jacob grabs a sword, lifts it high to kill Laban.
The 2 scantily-dressed sluts run screaming from Laban's bed.
A GANG of big roughneck thugs run into the tent, draw their swords.
Rachel rushes in (a big fat sore on her forehead). She grabs Jacob's sword, preventing him from stabbing Laban.
The thugs grab Jacob. They hurl him to the ground.
Laban towers over Jacob as he dons his robe over his fat belly.
Work for me another 7 years. I'll give you Rachel in advance for that 7 years of labor. Two for the price of two.
Form the floor, Jacob's rage-contorted face glares up toward Whitey (Laban).