| Research ~~- On Marriage and Divorce

Quick Answers about the fantasy of 'Re-Marriage"

Divorce 3568 Characters =~3.6Min. Reading Time
Man/Woman: My spouse left me and did/didn't get a divorce decree and did/didn't get "re-married."
COUNSELOR: Stay single and celibate; work to reconcile with your rotten spouse.

Woman: My husband left me and got a state divorce and got "re-married" and I met a real nice man; should I marry him?
COUNSELOR: No. Stay celibate and get into a faith community that supports you in your celibacy.
Work for the good of your rotten husband.

Man: My wife left me and got a state divorce and got "re-married" and I met a real nice lady; should I marry her?
COUNSELOR: No. You should stay celibate.
Remarriage is ALWAYS discouraged.

MAN: I married the 2nd wife anyway. How do I relate to my first wife?
COUNSELOR: Now you have TWO wives, regardless of what any judge says.
You won't be able to vote on Ecclesiastical matters, but you can still work with the fellowship as long as you honor and cherish both your first and 2nd wives as long as they live.
As to which wife or wives you can have sex with, now you're getting into cultural and interpretational quagmires. You've tied yourself up in a complicated knot no easy answer can untie.
Love your neighbor as yourself is the best advice I can give.

Man/Woman: The judge granted our divorce decree. Doesn't that mean our marriage is over?
COUNSELOR: No, all the judge did was modify a by-laws of a state corporation they call "your marriage."
Covenants Can Never Be Broken, not for fraud, not by adultery, not by a judge.
Divorce Does Not Cancel Your Wedding Vows.

Man/Woman: I am "married" to my 2nd spouse. Should I divorce and go back to my first spouse?
COUNSELOR: You have entered into a big mess.
Remarriage is adultery and/or polygamy.
You've fallen into quicksand and wiggling around will get you dug in deeper.
You need a miracle-savior to pull you out of the quicksand.
There are no one-size-fits-all answers to the remarriage problem.
Remarriage ties your life up in knots too big to be untied by mere human counsel.
Get good counsel from many sources, especially sources that are conservative of the sanctity of one-woman, one-man, for-life marriage.
Use common sense.
Consider what's best for the children, not only for their immediate development, but what is the best long-term example?
And pray for a miracle.
You can fix a flat tire, but when your engine throws a rod, you need a mechanic.
And you get to your mechanic shop by putting your knees on the floor. (Pray.)

WOMAN: I met a new man who promises to be the Dad my daughter never had.
COUNSELOR: Bull. The new man will say anything to go to bed with you.

WOMAN: You're wrong, this guy is different. I've caught a good one!
COUNSELOR: That's what they all say. Remarriages don't work. But even in the extremely unlikely event that the "2nd husband" is great, and it's more stable for your little girl to have a "new daddy," that just teaches your little girl the lie that SHE can grow up and make a poor choice of husband, and fix her broken life with a 2nd husband. Which doesn't work. Better for you, Mom, to stay celibate and to teach your little girl how to live happily without a man by getting support from spiritual, non-sexual relationships, while you pray for your real husband, instead of cutting off all hope of a reconciliation by shacking up with a new man.

Disclaimer: these answers are default cases.. seek lots of good counsel on the details.