Screenplay
55 CHAPTERS FROM

The Baby-Making War

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2 sisters fight for their cheating husband's love in a baby-spawning race: a down & dirty winner-take-all cat-fight that births the 12 tribes of Israel. The story of Rachel, Leah, & Jacob, full of jealousy, sin, murder & true love.

CHAPTERSPublished Min.

PRELIMINARY

1Cast Of Characters

ACT 1

scenecum.
2Isaac Marries Rebekah0.80.8
3Isaac & Rebekah Try But Fail To Make Babies1.32.1
4Baby Jacob Pops Out, Holding Red-Baby's heel0.93
5Harry & Cheater Grow Up At Odds1.14.1
6Jacob Buys Red-Man's Inheritance For Soup1.75.8
7Isaac Grows Old, Famine Rages, Esau takes Slut wives3.59.3
8Jacob & Rebekah Embezzle Esau's Inheritance615.3
9Jacob Risks his Life By Staying Near Esau1.717
10Jacob Runs For Life, Escaping Red-Man's Rage1.518.5
11Jacob Sees The Stairway To Heaven2.721.2
12Jacob Sees His True Love Rachel, Kisses Her2.423.6

ACT 2

23.7/21.75
13Jacob Negotiates Bethrothal to Rachel1.525.1
14Jacob Works 7 Years To Marry Rachel1.226.3
15Laban Knocks Out & Hides The Drunk Rachel1.127.4
16Jacob, Drunk, Boinks Leah Instead Of Rachel0.828.2
17Jacob Wakes Up Hung-Over, Sees Leah, screams1.429.6
18Jacob Marries Rachel0.830.4
19Jacob Finally Makes Love To Rachel0.631
20Jacob Works For Laban another 7 years0.431.4
21Leah prays and YAH opens her womb so she conceives1.432.8
22Leah Conceives And Births 4 Sons To Jacob2.134.9
23Rachel Gets Jacob To Screw Her Timid Handmaid2.437.3
24 Jacob Boinks Leah's Slave-Girl (Zilpah)0.738
25Jacob Screws Leah's Slave-Girl Again0.638.6
26Leah Buys Jacob's Stud-Rights For Mandrakes2.541.1
27Leah Births Dinah; Jacob & Rachel Keep Kissing0.741.8
28Rachel Births Super-Cute Baby Joseph1.142.9
29Jacob Asks Laban To Let Him Leave1.944.8

MIDPOINT

44.8/43.5
30Jacob Tricks Laban, Selectively Breeding Goats1.946.7
31Laban's Family Gets Murderously Enraged0.547.2
32YAH Orders Jacob To Return Home To Isaac0.647.8
33Jacob Talks Rachel & Leah Into Running Away350.8
34Rachel Steals Laban's Idols0.351.1
35Jacob's Caravans Toward Isaac's Far Land1.152.2
36Laban & His Armed Thugs Hotly Chase Jacob153.2
37Whitey (Laban) Overtakes & Confronts Jacob1.955.1
38Laban Searches Rachel's Tent; She Tricks Him1.456.5
39Laban and Jacob Make A Pact of Peace4.460.9
40Whitey (Laban) Rides His Camel For Syria0.461.3
41Angels Fly Past Jacob. Everyone Says He's Nuts0.962.2

ACT 3

62.2/65.25
42Jacob Sends Flocks As A Peace-Gift To Esau466.2
43Jacob Sends His Family & Stuff Across A River0.466.6
44Jacob Wrestles A Supernatural Being All Night2.969.5
45Esau, With 400 soldiers, Intercepts Jacob3.573
46Jacob And Esau The Red-Man Part In Peace0.473.4
47Jacob & Leah & Rachel Journey To Neck Ridge0.974.3
48Prince Shechem 'Rapes' Dinah1.275.5
49Levi & Simeon Con Neck Men Into Getting Cut2.578
50Simeon & Levi Trick-Circumcise & Massacre Men2.780.7
51Israel's 11 Sons Massacre Neck-Ridge's People3.183.8
52Jacob Flees Under Supernatural Guard To Bethel2.886.6
53Yah Appears To Jacob, Blesses Him1.688.2
54Rachel Dies Birthing Benjamin; Tribe Bury Her1.789.9
55Jacob & Leah & Family Ride Into The Sunset0.590.4
90.4/87
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